one week after Jan 13

In short, i'm so glad that i could dirty my jersey again. See the mud stains?

U will hv to read my past few posts (starting from "i will never forget 13th jan 2009 and the number 13")
to understand's wat's goin on.

I had one of the longest week last week since Jan 13.
It was one of those weeks when u prayed everyday for God to give you a miracle.
I'm kind of lost for words on how to describe last week.
I was feeling so down with my family situations and my studies which didn't go well for the
past sem.
I felt like i couldn't take anymore failures and disappointments.
That was why i felt so down last tues, when something i worked hard for ended so prematurely.
I was so disappointed till i just wanted to sit down and do nothing. I was sulking.
It may sound like something small but i totally neglected my bible reading plan which i just
started. I just heard at church on sunday bout us being faithful and i totally failed. I just
continued to rot while i watched movies or hung out with other ppl and sinned in simple ways
i won't be able to mention here. I just didn't care anymore. It was just a few days but it felt so
bad. Funny rite? Day after day i came back from the football field as my teammates went tru
game after game until they reached the semi finals for the first time. My mind just couldn't
shut off the thoughts of disappointments and of coz i felt it too.

I decided to repent cause i knew i couldn't go on without God. After all, i had to songlead at my cell group(HOMES) on Friday nite. I sang the song "All I am" as my prayer. During sharing, i told my "hommies" bout my injury and disappointments. They prayed for me. The next day onwards i began hoping for a miracle. I did some reading online and stretched and even tried to jog. I still couldn't run.

I then went to Port Dickson on Sat and Sun for final year students retreat organised by FES.
There,i was still distracted by my injury and was praying from time to time for healing. I prayed
for God to show me that if Jesus could heal as in the Bible, i want that too. Every morning i
wake up hoping my leg would recover but all i could do is stretch a bit more then the day
before.

Monday came. It was the semi-final against 8th col. Nope, i didn't get my healing. I stood there
watching again as my teammates battled it out in hopes of reaching the final. At the end of it,
we lost at the penalty shootout. We weren't really disappointed coz getting this far was
already quite an achievement. Anyway, we still have 3rd place to fight for the next day.
For me, i was hoping that the game was not gonna be so soon, so i may have a chance to
recover and play.
So i continued to pray.

On tues morning, 20th Jan, i was hoping to wake up with a miracle.
But, i didn't get the full recovery i prayed for. Haih....Despite feeling the pain and tightness,i
was still hoping something would happen. I continued my day as normal. I prayed" God, pls
show me whether i can play or not today".Coz, i didn't want to embarrass myself and leave the filed injured or play badly and let the team down. i tried to massage my hamstring and tried a few runs and dribbling in my room. I still felt uncomfortable. There was still throbs as i lifted my
right leg to do some dribbling. I also massaged my calf but it ended up feeling more painful
and i almost had a cramp. At that moment, i tot i had lost hope coz, with a potential cramp, i
won't stand a chance to even start the game. I continued to pray and believe. i left my room
limping a bit and bought 100 plus. I came back kind of disappointed coz i could still feel the
tightness on my calf which was not intended. i lied down on my bed still whispering prayers
and prayed in tongues.

It started to rain and it was almost time to go to the field.
I left "by faith" and told my teammates that i will play only if i feel i can after the warm up.
This time ,i had two potential injuries to worry about-hamstring and calf.
At the field, i started jogging alone coz i read just that day online that jogging to warm up
increses blood circulation and makes stretches more effective and safe.

Then it was time. Our opponents were from 11th college. For them to reach this stage, they
had to be quite a strong team.
I told my teammates i wanted to play and if i felt that i couldn't go on,i would ask to be
substituted.
I played on the right wing. It was scary coz i knew that it required me to sprint quite often,
which requires the use of my hamstrings.
I wasn't running normally and limped a bit but not so obviously.

Here are some highlights.
Goal number one came from an unintentional assist from me. Naufal(Messi) scored.
Goal number two came from a superb volley by Abbul (my best Malay buddy whom i had
played with since my first year) after the chested my cross from the right. This wasn't really
intentional too. haha.
Then our opponents scored a penalty.
2-1 now.
Abbul then made aother spectacular shot from long range to beat the keeper.
3-1.
Half time came and i was not sure if i could go on playing but i was told to play on if i could.
So i did.
11th college were trying to get back in the game and finally scored a nice goal.
3-2.
All we had to do was to hold on. I finally decided that my legs couldn't go on so i called for a
substitution to ensure my team would be able to defend better with a fresh par of legs.
The final whistle came not long after that.

We did it. 3rd place. The best achievement so far for a college who had originally been a girls
college.Even now the girls to guys ratio is 2/3 or 3/4.

So, was it a miracle? I did ask God for at least third place. Throughout the last week, i prayed
so many times and repeated my prayers again and again and again. i did watever that came to
mind. It was crazy. I resumed my bible reading plan although it was so hard to start again.

I believe it was a miracle that i was able to play in that match.
I did not receive full recovery as i wanted but i was satisfied to play even if i had to limp a bit
and risk getting injured. It's a miracle coz i shouldn't be playing just one week after the injury.
It was a major relief coz i needed something to cheer me up.
So i thank God coz He indeed cheered me up.
I also wanna thank all who prayed for me especially my Hommies from Acts.
God indeed cares for every detail of our lives.
Things may not have gone my way and so much pain was involved. But i'm glad to say it was
all worth it coz i needed to be down to see things i'd never see when i'm not so down.

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they qualified....

yup, my team qualified to the semi-finals.

I'm happy and sad at the same time...haha...haih

Compared to the past 2 years, our quarter final oponents were much tougher. 

This time,even with another of my good teammate and me out, we still won.(by penalty shootout la). We beat 1st col 4-2 0n penalties i think.

Pastor Kenneth just preached bout us being faithful last Sunday. My test came immediately on tues.

I was so disappointed that i just didn't care anymore.

But i realised that i can't go on like that.

I forgot bout that verse I put up for the MSK video.

1 Corinthians 9:25

They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize

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just a game

I feel like i should not blog bout this. It kind of shows how "weak" and immature i am....watever la. It's like i wanna gain ppl's sympathy...oh please(the Rihanna style)....

Imagine watching ur team play while u can just watch. My team has just won 2 out of 3 group
games. 0-2 vs 5th col, 2-1 vs 7th col and 1-0 vs 4th col.
Tomoro they play in the quarter finals against 1st col.

After watching the 2 games, i felt that i could do well. But, all i can do is watch...sigh...sigh ...sigh.
And if they win tomoro...it'll be even more painful to know coz I really wanted to play in the semi-finals this time....

I can't help but feel very sad and disappointed.
Anyone can say don't give up. U can start over. Learn from your mistakes. etc
I honestly feel likei don't give a damn anymore.
My mom pula says i overplayed la, this la...that la......yada yada...
she'll never understand.
It's like u tell a person who just broke up or got dumped,
"aiya..it's not the end of the world,
got so many guys/gals out there, cheer up..."
I oso know la...but it's that reluctant feeling to try all over again...
it feels so hard to go tru the rehabilitation process of my injury...
i dun even know how bad is it...it feels bad...

Somehow this game(and some other factors) can make me feel like this.
It's like a test to see where i put my joy and hope.
is it a punishment or a test?
Wateverla...i'm just too disappointed to think....

Come to think of it..it's just a game....it's not like i'm getting paid or sth..
vanity........
and yet, why do i feel like this?

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I'll never forget 13th Jan 2009 and the number 13

It was the day i was waiting for. Jan 13th. I couldn't wait to put on my new number 13 jersey.
SUKMUM(Sukan Universiti Malaya) - football tournament , my final chance to play for my hostel before i leave UM.
Why no. 13? Coz i didn't submit my number in time. So, my captain, who was a ManUtd fan, gave me number 13 coz i was positioned as the left winger this time , just as Park Ji Sung (who can play on both wings.)
We were up against the strongest college in our group - 5th college which we call the sports college. We were really struggling.

Then it had to happen, just before half time, when the score was still 0-0, I suddenly felt a pop under my thigh, which i think is the hamstring. yup, i pulled my hamstring. The second i landed on the ground, i realised i couldn't go on anymore. It was so painful that i couldn't walk or stretch my right leg. After playing football for so long, i never got this injury before.


(btw,as shown above, the hamstring muscle group contains three muscles - biceps femoris, semitendonosus and semimembranosus.)
So, I was sent to Pusat Perubatan Universiti Malaya (PPUM). I had to wait there for bout 2 hours. It was so cold and i couldn't do anything. No handphone, no wallet . Got TV la but the volume was too low so i couldn't hear a thing. Imagine watching Detective Conan which is dubbed in BM and has no subtitles. I was trying to guess the mystery till i got fed up.


When my turn came, i told the doctor what happened. He simply told me to rest and ordered the nurses to give me an injection on my butt. Watliau.
It was like this-
Nurse: Buka sikit ya?
Me: ok.... ;(
Nurse: Tarik nafas...
Me: ow....
LOL

How many handphone numbers can u remember? y?
Remember, i didn't have my wallet and handphone with me. Nobody accompanied me to the hospital. I could only remember 2 numbers. Kah Hoe's number and my mom's number. One was in Setapak and the other in Penang. So how? I borrowed a stranger's handphone to call both of them but they didn't answer. Wat liau....So i waited and tried again. Finally, Kah Hoe answered with a sleepy voice. I told him i was at the hospital and couldn't walk etc etc. he got shocked. I asked him to call Lionel who was just minutes away from the hospital. Thank God he was nearby and could be contacted. So now, at least i memorized Lionel's number. Hope i remember the next time i need it.


Now u know why i will remember this day.
After all my hard work training and anxious days thinking bout this tournament, it was over just like that.
Looks like i will not be touching a football for at least 1 month or more.
My team lost 0-2 that day. haih....now we have two more games to play and i will only be able to watch.....
Adoi.......pain la.........argh!!!!.......not my hamstring - but the agony of not being able to play.............

I somehow recall this song by Gareth Gates

It can happen to..
Anyone of us, anyone you think of
Anyone can fall
Anyone can hurt "their own hamstring" (someone they love)
Hearts will break
cause I made a stupid mistake
It can happen to..
Anyone of us, say you will forgive me
Anyone can fail
Say you will believe me
I can't take my heart will break (has broken actually)
cause I made a stupid mistake
A stupid mistake

i think my stupid mistake was that i didn't stretch my hamstrings thoroughly. I did stretch but i think it wasn't enough. I forgot. argh!!!

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my first nine hours in 200nine

I did one thing that I'd never do again. Nothing special la.

But first, i'll start with 11.59 pm , 31 dec 2008.
I was still listening to a sermon at my church watchnite service. 5-10 mins later only did my pastor get back the mic from the speaker to welcome year 2009.

1.30am- 3.30am. Played DOTA with some frens. I tot it was new year and my mom would let me go.
But no....she called me a few times and because my battery ran out, she accused me of puposefully rejecting her calls. Wat liau...there goes my new year mood ..... Anyway, we lost every game we played coz i was a noob in DOTA...haha

3.30-4.30am. Supper.

4.50am - 8.30am. Here's the part that I don't want to go tru anymore.
I reached home and found that my mom didn't leave me the house keys.
I tot she was angry so she locked me out.
My bro's hp got no sound.
I didn't want to wake her up coz she needs to sleep well. I guessed that she would wake up to check whether i was back or not.

So how?
i decided to try something out. Sleep outside my house.
There was a a small sofa-like chair outside. I wore a my mom's small jacket that was left outside and took a car seat cushion which wasalso left outside to cushion my head.
I spent the next 2-3 hours in a seated posture, adjusting the cushion, adjusting my position, scratching here and there due to mosquitoes while hoping i would fall asleep. But of coz i couldn't really sleep la. I wonder how I could sleep so well in lectures but now when i get to sleep i can't really sleep...haha
Anyway, mom somehow didn't wake up to check as i tot she would.

So how now? I walked to the nearby coffee shops to buy breakfast. And for the first time after so long, I bought a STAR newspaper to read. I went back to my house and sat at the step of the front door. I ate my kuih and and read the sports section first,as usual. Then only i browsed tru other sections.

Then suddenly, my hp rang and the front door opened a bout 3 seconds later. It was mom. She saw that i was not on my bed so called me, only to be surprised that i was sitting at the front door.

Then when i tot i could finally go to bed, my mom asked me to go to the market with her. It was better to use motorbike coz parking was hard to find. At the market she took her own sweet time choosing clothes. That was her number one priority for the day. Then only she went to buy other stuff.

Just to add to my grandmother story, I noticed more "young" gals there. I usually see more aunties at the market. Of coz, i think they were there not to do marketing but they were mostly at the food stalls and the clothes stalls. lol.

Sorry to bore u with my long-winded story.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

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