Why i haven't been blogging

Why? Coz really busy lah..


I just started my first full time job on Nov 16 and was going tru training. No more freedom as when I was an intern. 


My mom decided to redecorate the hse. So we had to do all sorts of stuff. I didn't know painting the walls and doors was so hard lah...


Other that that, bad time mangement and couldn't sleep well..dunno why...Of coz got many others but too lazy to explain lah


I'll be back with blog posts on how i got my job and to continue the parts I left...C ya


;p

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Loveless Part 1

Is anyone of you out there feeling that nobody loves you? That you also find it hard to love due to so many disappointments? Had a broken family? Betrayed many times? Or maybe you're not able to be loved bcoz of a defect that u have? etc. U know what I mean...

I have friends which fit the above categories. I don't really know what to say when they compare themselves with other "happier" people who have good families, etc.

I would like to say that God's love is enough but clearly those words don't mean anything to them (even we ourselves are still discovering God and are so forgetful although God has shown His love in the past)

I was looking for examples or role models. If God is love, then how come I can't think of at least one person who has gone through tough times and seen God's faithfulness? How come? I prayed and asked God from time to time.

Guess what? The person I was looking for has always been there. Who else can be a better and reliable example than my one and only MOM????

Yup. The queen of my house. Since my bro and I were young, she has been telling us her life stories. She forgets and repeats them again and again sometimes. She even showed us all the love letters my dad wrote to her. Fuiyo, got macam-macam lo - cartoons,stickers,poems, etc. I never really saw that creative side in my dad.

I would like to tell every challenge my mom had to go through but some things are not that suitable to reveal here yet. I'll try to summarize.

She never stayed with her own mom most of the time but was stayed with her aunt. Life was kinda like Cinderella coz she had gone through tough times from the "evil" aunt, 1 cousin sister and 1 adopted sister. That aunt never treated my mom well. Of coz la, not her own ma. She was well known for her unpleasant attitude and foul mouth.

In a gist, my dad was in the picture and they left for KL to work when they were 17(if i'm not wrong). My mom never finished secondary school and had lots of red ink in her report book.

I don't want to go into details about what my dad did since those days till now. Only very few out there know. All i can say any woman wouldn't want to be in my mom's shoes. (There's just so much but i can't tell, so don't look down on the immense pain my mom had to go through)

Even my bro and I also contributed tomom's headache and heartache. Haha. Maybe I caused more la. lolz

What's the point of me telling you all this???????

Well, the story isn't complete if I don't tell you a few things she did right, which brought her to where she is today. This is no joke coz mom was really really hurt throughout her life.

I've heard people say that there's no point in loving, in sowing into others' lives, in doing good, in giving, etc. Mom chose to love. She chose to invest love into other lives. Indeed, she had to learn and be broken by God here and there in order to deal with certain "inner monsters" which developed due to her past and bitterness.

Among the things she did were as follows.
-she took care of her old and sick mom who didn't really take care of her when she was young.

-she also went back to that eveil aunt to share the gospel only to be bombarded. Mom faithfully prayed for her. It had to happen. The evil old aunt had cancer. Who brought her home and took care of her? Yup, mom did so and this time, the aunt accepted Jesus. Unthinkable.

-dad. Countless time already lah my mom forgave him. haih...Enuf said.

-she continued to invest in others' lives despite our financial difficulty

-she tried to reach out and love the cousin sister only to be betrayed and threatened. That's another story. All i can say is God avenged us.

-that adopted sister pula very ungrateful. Lazy to talk bout her lah.. -almost every time it was my mom who went to make right with "those women" who seem to love to step on my mom's tail.

ok..my mind is lagging now. Can't say anymore although there's more.

Conclusion, my mom followed Jesus when she was 17(i think)and never turned back despite so many many tough times. She learned and obeyed God's principles and most importantly, she never neglected love. She never received the love she wanted from people but as she chose to give first, she lived a better life instead of a bitter one. I don't have time to tell you the good things she received form God.

Clearly, she had to rely on the one and only person who really loves her,God. Even my bro and I fail her all the time.

That's all for now.
XOXO
gossipboy ( can't resist coz last nite i just watched it on TV)

lol lol lol lol

;p

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Fighting your own battles

Do we really need people to support us all the time?

Sometimes I'm speechless when I hear people say that they aren't loved or don't have the support that the fortunate ones get from their loved ones. I can't say that I'm where I am today because of my own effort coz i needed support from other people.

But, there are many battles we have to fight alone. Coz when I think of it, I had to go through so many things on my own. Till this day I rarely have friends close enough to share everything with. It seems people can tell me so many things but I can't do likewise. I guess i was meant to be a listener. It seems I have to give advice and not receive advice most of the time.

They say u can tell you family members your problems and get support. Please, that only happens once in a blue moon. In fact, our parents can't understand many things we go through and they may even scold you or give you a lecture. Sometimes they overreact and get worried unnecessarily.

So, I feel we can't complain that we don't have people to love and support us. In fact, these people who "love" us can be a hindrance at times.

When you go to the gym,who carries the weights? Your gym friends? Or do you carry them alone? The trainer and others can only give you advice. The rest is up to you.

Not to forget, I have faith that God is my supporter behind the scenes. Clearly, He seems distant at times but He has proven to be faithful not because of what I did. Perhaps, all I did was believe. Perhaps it was just faith as tiny as the mustard seed. Oh yeah, really that small...

God can be your gym trainer, who at times lets you train alone. You think He should be always there to guide you. But, don't you think what He said to you was enough for a period of time? He gave certain instructions and advice earlier on and now it is all up to you to be disciplined.

I got no mood to blog bout my battles now la but I think you all have your own battles to fight ALONE. I mayhave gotten proud at times but I know that without God, I'd be nothing.

Here's a nice song I came across not long ago.

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Internal beauty

I don't think i have time to blog bout this coz portions of it are in the comments section for the "i'm fat" post.
I responded to a friend's comments. I don't think most of you knows her so it's ok la.
I'm certainly no expert but we all have opinions to share right?

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I'm fat (Part 1)

It's time for a controversial topic. ;p

Won't any girl get irritated when you hear a normal sized girl say that she's fat????
Haiyo, even i cannot tahan lo. From my eyes(and others), she is just fine. But why all the fuss??

Next. A friend made a comment bout something and it was related to a "fat" girl who among the people in the conversation. This girl was kinda pissed of by his comments.. This story was told to me by a friend, who is a girl. She in fact feels that that girl shouldn't react that way coz she is
clearly fat and that comment was not meant to criticize or degrade her at the first place.

Whether you're a guy or a girl, if you're fat, u know it. But why aren't you doing anything about it? Have you come to accept that you were meant to be that way? Why do you have to eat so much???

I know it's easy for me to say coz I have a normal weight. My mom says my face is a bit thinner than normal. This is another story.

Some say that they are single coz nobody wants them, coz they are fat. haih. It'd be great if everyone could say that inner beauty is what that matters most. Let's dig further.

I get irritated when girls say that guys only want the slim girls. Clearly, i also observe that gals also are picky when it comes to the physical attributes of men. Yes or not? They say they want a guy who loves them and understands them etc etc but don't tell me you don't mind his weight???
Ok ok. This is just a general statement. I have seen many couples happy together regardless of size; and the heart is all that matters. Both men and women should and will need to learn to love the person for who he or she is.

Is it really true that size doesn't matter when it comes to love? I know we all should love regardless of outer attributes. Yes we should and must learn to. But shouldn't we make more effort to stay fit?

Why? coz if you get any sickness or physical problems due to obesity, who suffers??? YOU and YOUR loved ones of coz. And if you're not insured, the hospital bills will be a burden. Also, time is wasted coz you can't do things at a normal pace and if u get sick, someone has to take care of you. (i know this is getting too far but it does affect some ppl)

Plus, girls, i know that it'll be harder to get those clothes u crave for if you're overweight. Or u can't wear them coz it doesn't suit your "michelin" body. lolz. My mom would scold me if i pinch the fat on her stomach and say "michelin". So mean rite? haha


This topic has suddenly turned into "being fit". Can you be fat and fit at the same time? I always marvel at how Sammo Hung manages to do all those martial arts moves despite his size. I know it'd be great if we could make him a role model. But he works hard to be as fit as possible. I really doubt he could do the things he did if he doesn't train hard for it.

I'm very sure there are people out there who are fat genetically. Fine. Clearly it would be so much tougher for you to lose weight. But if put enough effort, you'd still be fit( as possible), which is better that being fat and unfit.

Oh yes, then there's another group who'll be pissed at people like me coz we say things so easily, coz we're genetically normal sized.
They have come to a conclusion that inner beauty is all that matters. Life is too short to be anxious over your weight. Why should i care bout what i eat? They love themselves for how they are and don't want to care what others say. They sing the Christina Aguilera song "Beautiful".
Indeed, the song is inspiring. We should know that we are beautiful no matter what others say coz we don't want words to bring us down. Of coz, this song not only involves weight but other physical attributes.

Well, take it from a friend of mine. She can't stand girls and guys who don't make the effort to be fit. I saw her struggle as she fought to be strong and fit. I saw the results. It took lots of time and discipline. Most aren't willing to or just can't make the time. She says all these are just lame excuses.

People can always tell us stories of those who are happy in life despite their weight. It's like pointing at Bill Gates and saying that he is rich despite not finishing school. Whether we like it or not, we still had to study hard. If u still fail, then u look for other opportunities. Btw, i didn't study hard enuf but still enuf to get me to where I am. I tried. I'm sure we all have our reasons or excuses. But if we don't try at all, nothing's gonna change.

No pain, no gain. Remember, it's not only you who suffer but your loved ones.

I really wonder what people will think about how i see girls after they've read this topic. Am I the type who very choosy bout the physical attributes of a girl? This will be another topic for another time.

For those who think you are fat but you're not..."slap"

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