Love and tests

Forgive me, friends who read my blog, if you're not a Christian and you seem to see God here and there is my posts. I'll blog other stuff whenever I can. Seriously, you need God too.

Even if you're a christian, u may get bored of it...haha. I would. But bear with me lah...I'm just making it a habit to blog down stuff as I think about them.

If you're too lazy to read all, then at least ponder these words.

Do we really love God?
We can never really love God without the Holy Spirit's help. If we were really tested,
we'd fail most of the time. So, just accept His grace and then learn to change step
by step. Don't just give up coz u don't feel love for God. Love is also a choice.
_______________________________________________________________ ;p



Why are we tested?

Would you like your bf/gf/spouse to test your love for her/him?

If you really loved a person, you wouldn't test him/her right?

This question may have popped out: Why does God test his people?

A typical response would be that God wants to purify your faith. It is true but
people just aren't convinced. Honestly, who likes to be tested? Don't most of us
dread exams? (Especially if it's a new topic and there's no past year questions)

"Shit happens". A friend told me she saw a shirt with those words.

As much as we hate it, bad things/tests/whatever do happen.

1 Peter 1:6
...though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.

(May OR If need be — Means that trials are not always needful. It happens only when God sees it to be the best means for your spiritual profit.)

From this,we can see God loves us and He wants us to GROW UP! Therefore we are tested.

But then, if we say God tests us to see if we love Him, then how??
If your parents or gf/bf/spouse really tests you, do you think you'll pass the test?

My answer is I won't pass all the time! When you think of it, most of us fail to really love
others. What more if our love for God is tested?

People may say that they feel they can't love God. Honestly, who can really love God?
We were first forgiven. Then, we develop our love for God.

Ups and downs.
Feelings and choices. Sometimes you're on fire, sometimes you're not. We depend on the Holy Spirit to grow in love with God.

If you were forced to marry a person and then asked to learn to love the person, can you do it? Most of us can't and don't want to. You might as well be single.

Similar with God. Most people rather live without God. But with God, it's different. He
can't force us to love Him. It's more to accepting Him as the only way to be saved
(from eternal doom or hell). It's more to obeying Him for our own good. It's more to trusting that God will reward those who diligently seek Him.

We may feel like robots obeying God at times. But don't you realize that even in a
body-building or a sport you like, we get bored with the mundane routines and
uncertainties? i.e. practicing like robots? Discipline is all that's left when passion
disappears sometimes.

Perhaps it's the end result you're aiming for. You want to be a good player so you train hard. You wanna have nice body so you workout no matter how tough.

The end results for a christian is heaven,rewards on earth and heaven, character, spiritual character, etc.
We can't be so spiritual to say that we don't expect rewards lah...

;p

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envy towards sinners

You and I are sinners, right? Don't u dare say that u're good just because there are people worse than u..

We're all sinners la. Even chrisitians tend to get over-righteous and forget that they are actually sinners.

Have you ever felt envious toward sinners, i.e. people who do wrong stuff? What's worse, they get away with it or enjoy it.

This ain't the first time. One night before i slept, i was kinda disturbed and dissatisfied with things others could do and i had to fight not to do. I'm mainly talking bout wrong things that others can do and we christians have to say NO to.

Remember, not doing what is right is also wrong. Therefore, we're also burdened if we ignore the right things we have to do.

That night, i talked to God bout it briefly. Immediately after that, i somehow opened a book on my shelf to the date that day and guess what? Yup, the topic was bout envy towards sinners.

Do not envy sinners in your heart. Instead, continue to fear the LORD.
Proverbs 23:17

Here's a cross reference.
Blessed is the man who always fears the LORD, but he who hardens his heart falls into trouble.
Proverbs 28:14

Clearly, it is a struggle for all christians.
Let's be real. Don't u feel it sometimes when others get to do stuff and u tell yourself not to?
Examples:
-being unequally yoked (not wrong but unwise and can lead to sin)
-sexual stuff (i'm sure understand,if u have hormones)
-when ur friend says they enjoyed it ....
-when u see others cheat and do other dishonest stuff
-lie
-gossip (even guys do it)
-they don't need to go to church(don't be surprised. I never knew it was a challenge 'til i was given the freedom to choose in uni. I've seen many chrisitians neglect this simply thing)
-curse and swear
-etc etc...in short, do whatever they feel like doing lah....

;p

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It takes the strong to love

In a previous post(my case against "chrisitians"), u might think i was offended by christians. Nope, I didn't write it because of me, i wrote it coz i was disappointed that a friend of mine was a victim of careless words, actions and lifestyles of my fellow christians. Of coz, i do have my share of problems with chrisitians la.

It's always tough to forgive but know this: God has forgiven us first.That's is why we learn to forgive others. Back to the title: it takes the strong to love.

What does it mean to be strong? I hear it used all the time. If a person can go through this and that, can do this or that, they're labeled strong. But let me say this: A truly strong person is one who can love despite the outcome.

If you really wanna be strong, learn to love others. Love is more of a choice than a feeling.

We know that we ought to love others as we love ourselves. It seems most ppl can only do the latter.

We can see that many people don't love themselves by taking drugs, doing this and that.But can u tell me how many really do not love themselves? If the bible can say that those who love themselves will lose their lives, then it is clear that many are lovers of themselves.

Some people don't bother about their outward appearance or how they live their life coz they think they are "ugly" or worthless or useless or etc. But they still do other things to so called love themselves e.g. : buy expensive stuff to pamper themselves; work hard at something to prove that they can do it. etc

I observed a "defense mechanism" developed by people who wanna prove they can do it( or that they are strong in a certain area). I have a friend who studied hard and was getting good grades. The reason behind it? She was always compared to her elder brother. So, she wants to prove that also can do it as good or better. She finally did it but i really doubt that she had the time to develop something more important: love for others.

So, to be able to love others, especially those who can hurt you, is the true trait of a strong person. U may achieve anything in life but if you fail to love, u fail...
This is not even a christian concept. Whether u wanna include God in your life or not, u can't live without love.

The christian life(or human life) was never meant to be lived solo. I know it's tough but God made humans for relationships. (Marriage is another issue altogether. It's a relationship that many find it better to be without.)

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This guy

Do u see yourself in this guy? I hope not. What would you say to him?

I wonder if it is right to talk about him?

I know a guy quite well, i think. I see him almost everyday. The days I don't see him is when there aren't any mirrors or surfaces which can reflect images.

He seems to be living aimlessly at the moment. I asked him why, he doesn't really know. I told him perhaps he just has to stop waiting for things to happen and start doing the small little things.
He asked,"like what?"
I told him," go play ur guitar, read a book, make new friends, help out in the house, do those things which u listed in you to-do list"

Haih, I keep hearing him complain that life in Penang is bored and UM life is better. I'm bored of it. I wanna help him but I don't know what to do. I advised him but he ignores it.

I also told him to not stare at the PC too often. He sits in front of the PC during work and at home, he can't leave the PC alone. If not the PC, then the TV. During the weekends, PC again?Why isn't there any other better thing to do? Is this the life of a working adult?

I asked him why he is still single. He'd always say the same few things like : " I just haven't met someone who really makes me fall in love. In the past and even now, there are girls who look attractive but I just am not attracted to the character/personality of the person. The closest I ever got to a relationship also didn't work out coz I didn't connect with the girl's character/personality. U can't say i'm so kayu, that I don't get attracted to girls. I do find myself liking 1 or 2 but they don't seem to be right. Perhaps I don't know them enuf."

For me, maybe he's just making excuses for being to choosy. I don't blame him coz it's one of the most important decisions in his life. Once the ring is put on,there's no turning back.

This guy plays football 6 times a week. I had to ask him why he loved football so much. He answered," Don't we all have something we look forward doing? Some love to go to the gym, some love playing games, some love reading, some love studying, some love working, some love going out, some love all sorts of food, some love talking,etc. I know not everyone has the chance to do what they really love to do. During my student years, I never had the chance to train and play as often as now."

Before I could ask him the next question, he continued, "I know very well that I can't do anything "well" if God doesn't approve of it. For me, "well" means having that peace inside and not ignoring the important things in my life. I don't wanna waste my life on the football field. It does feel like I've put too much time on football but I find that it is better than sitting in front of the PC. It is clear to me that God led me to the club I am playing for coz of the arrangements I see throughout the past years which led to where I am today. It's kinda too long to describe every detail."

What about God and church? He sighed and said," It has been tough coz I know I'm not doing certain things right. But i know He'll help me. The issue is still how I'm serving at my church. Must a person serve in church and then only he can feel good bout his walk with God? Perhaps not but I don't know what is missing. "

I observed him all this while and told him that he has left evangelism aside. He acknowledged and wants to improve.

²³ Suppose you listen to the word but don't do what it says. Then you are like a man who looks at his face in a mirror. ²⁴ After looking at himself, he leaves. Right away he forgets what he looks like.
James 1:23-24

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how to let

I was Googling for solutions for something and was surprised to see these suggested searches.
Lolz...
Perhaps one day I'll look tru one of it...definitely not one of those with "let go"...i hope...

Anger is quite a problem for many,as u can see from the search results. I'm generally a relaxed and laid back person but even I have moments in my life when I face anger problems. It's because i kept certain things in my heart and when the something triggers it, explosion happens.

Anyway, it will be the same few things which trigger us. I found it useless to hold on these things which cause me to be angry. It's not easy to do but I found that if you are willing to talk to God about it and be humble, you'll be better.

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My case against "chrisitians"

Dear "Christians",

I've always wanted to blog a post like this but i was reluctant and unsure. But I don't care, for now...

Just because u are saved by grace, u think u can do anything u like? Don't you realise other people have feelings? Or more specifically, don't u realise other christians have feelings too? Just becoz we are commanded to forgive, u can just step on anyone?

U judge all the time...u want things to go the traditional and comfortable way or actually, your way.
When something goes wrong, u blame others.
Why do u pamper those who u like? Those who look cute and nice? Those who seem manja? And then categorize some as "strong"? U allow some to do as they want but some others are treated the opposite...U are you to say someone is weak or strong?

Do u realise the things u say and do has caused or will cause ur fellow brother or sister to fall away?

U think going to church or playing an instrument is good enough? So what if u were the president of some christian organization or hold any other posts before? So what if u can song-lead? So what if your parents did this or that? You are accountable for who you are.

In uni, I always hear from some christians that their biggest failure or down times were always due to getting bad results in exams? Prayer requests are always bout exams...come on...aren't there so many other things to pray about?

I'm kinda dissatisfied when people thank God when they get good grades,etc but their lives don't reflect that they are true christians. Others also thank their gods for the good things in their lives.
What makes us different????

All these seem immature but I son't feel satisfied coz I haven't put it in a way i'd like to. I forgot what else to say actually...
I just keep seeing that it is christians who will hurt a fellow christian the most. How come???

In conclusion, I myself am guilty of so many things, whether or not it is mentioned above.
Our righteousness are like filthy rags la. We indeed need God's grace.

I'm sorry if I have hurt anyone out there. I also need to learn.

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Useful tool: OneNote's OCR function

Me? A Secretary? What???
Yup, just recently, i was appointed to be the secretary of Youngsters' United Football Club.
I won't be that busy lah coz meetings are very few. But there some things I have to do now but I'm too lazy or am not very good at.
One of it is to type out documents. I took half an hour typing 1 page of the Rules and Regulations from a hard copy. It was tormenting coz I was just too slow.

Suddenly, yesterday nite, I got the idea of looking for a software which can extract text from an image and convert it into an editable text document. I googled and finally found the simplest solution. Here it is:

You will need Microsoft Office 2007 with OneNote installed.OneNote has OCR(Optical Character Recognition) abilities built right in.
(If you don't have OneNote, i there's a website (http://www.free-ocr.com/) which allows people to upload the image and it will convert it to text. There are also other software which can do it but I haven't tried lah)

All you need to do is to save the image with the text you want in it as any standard format(usually JPEG) It can either be from an image you found online, from a scanned document or from a digital camera.

Insert the image into a new OneNote document, right click the image and select “Copy Text from Picture.” Depending on the amount of text this could take a while.



Once it has finished, open another new document in OneNote and select Edit > Paste which will paste the text that it gathered from the image into the new document.

Btw, make sure the Pic is aligned nicely la. I used a scanner to scan my docs so it looks pretty aligned.

Hope this helps.

;p

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Atheists Suck at Being Atheists

I would like to write these kind of stuff on my own but it's kinda tough and complicated. While i find more time and gather my thoughts for my next posts, i'll just paste what someone else wrote. Btw, it does sound kinda rude or arrogant to say others suck. But i think we know that is doesn't condemn anyone but atheism.

I honestly can't fully understand this article fully but i hope those of you whose "england" is very good, can understand more or less.

It's not meant to condemn anyone but to bring out the issues which we don't deal with and hide under our "chrisitan" coconut shells..(lolz)

Atheists Suck at Being Atheists
by Pastor Douglas Wilson

From the perspective of a Christian, the refusal of an atheist to be a Christian is dismaying, but it is at least intelligible. But what is really disconcerting is the failure of atheists to be atheists. That is the thing that cries out for further exploration.

We can understand a cook who sets out to prepare a reduction sauce, having it simmer on the stove for three days. But what we shouldn't get is the announcement afterwards that he has prepared us a soufflé. The atheistic worldview is nothing if not inherently reductionistic, whether this is admitted or not. Everything that happens is a chance-driven rattle-jattle jumble in the great concourse of atoms that we call time. Time and chance acting on matter have brought about, in equally aimless fashion, the 1927 New York Yankees, yesterday's foam on a New Jersey beach, Princess Di, the arrangement of pebbles on the back side of the moon, the music of John Cage, the Fourth Crusade, and the current gaggle representing us all in Congress.

If the universe actually is what the materialistic atheist claims it is, then certain things follow from that presupposition. The argument is simple to follow, and is frequently accepted by the sophomore presidents of atheist/agnostic clubs at a university near you, but it is rare for a well-published atheistic leader to acknowledge the force of the argument. To acknowledge openly the corrosive relativism that atheism necessarily entails would do nothing but get the chimps jumping in the red states. To swallow the reduction would present serious public relations problems, and drive Fox News ratings up even further. Who needs that?

So if the universe is what the atheist maintains it is, then this determines what sort of account we must give for the nature of everything -- and this includes the atheist's thought processes, ethical convictions, and aesthetic appreciations. If you were to shake up two bottles of pop and place them on a table to fizz over, you could not fill up an auditorium with people who came to watch them debate. This is because they are not debating; they are just fizzing. If you were to shake up one bottle of pop, and show it film footage of some genocidal atrocity, the reaction you would get is not moral outrage, but rather more fizzing. And if you were to shake it really hard by means of art school, and place it in front of Michelangelo's David, or the Rose Window of Chartres Cathedral, the results would not really be aesthetic appreciation, but more fizzing still.

If the atheist is right, then I am not a Christian because I have mistaken beliefs, but am rather a Christian because that is what these chemicals would always do in this arrangement and at this temperature. The problem is that this atheistic assumption does the very same thing to the atheist's case for atheism. The atheist gives us an account of all things which makes it impossible for us to believe that any account of all things could possibly be true. But no account of things can be tenable unless it provides us with the preconditions that make it possible for our "accounting" to represent genuine insight. Atheism fails to do this, and the failure is a spectacular one. Nor does atheism allow us to have any fixed ethical standard, or the possibility of beauty.

It does no good to appeal to the discoveries made by science and reason, for one of the things that reason has apparently brought us is atheism. Right? And not content to let sleeping dogs lie, reason also brings us the inexorable consequences of atheism, which includes the unpalatable but necessary conclusion that random neuron firings do not amount to any "truth" that corresponds to anything outside our heads. This, ironically enough, includes atheism, and so we find ourselves falling out of the tree, saw in one hand and branch in the other.

Contrast this with the Christian gospel -- God the Father is the Maker of heaven and earth. He sent His Son to be born one of us; this Son died on gibbet for our sins, as the ultimate and final human sacrifice, and He rose from the dead on the third day following. Having ascended into Heaven and taken His place at the right hand of His Father, He sent His Holy Spirit into the world in order to transform it, a process that is still ongoing. Now obviously, this is a message that can be believed or disbelieved. But the reason for mentioning it here includes the important point that such a set of convictions makes it possible for us to believe that reason can be trusted, that goodness does not change with the evolutionary times, and that beauty is grounded in the very heart of God. Someone who believes these things doesn't believe that we are just fizzing.

You can deny that this God exists, of course, and you can throw the whole cosmos into that pan of reduction sauce. And you can keep the heat on by publishing one atheist missive after another. But what you should not be allowed to do is cook the whole thing bone dry and call the crust on the bottom an example of the numinous or transcendent. Calling it that provides us with no reason to believe it -- and numerous reasons not to.

Read more at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/christopher-hitchens/collision-is-religion-abs_b_326673.html

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3 posts today

I dunno how i ended up with the 3 posts below but I just had to pour out some stuff. I spent almost half a day blogging. I've been busy with work the past few days and had no mood to blog oso la.

What i wanna do next is visit other blogs but I gotta continue with my work.

I'm sorry if any of you get confused (due to christian jargons) but do read them for your own sake or knowledge.

But to Christians, you gotta wake up. Help wake me up to.

I know my posts aren't really complete and can be narrow due to perspective or lack of knowledge.

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Why did God allow it to happen?

3rd post for the day..this one took really long.

We tend to say God gave us trials and problems. What if I say that God uses trials and problems for own good and brings out good from it? Meaning, he didn’t initiate the hardships and problems. We can blame the Devil or us or others or anything.

Of coz, God had to allow it to happen.

Saying this leads to a very tough and blur discussion. Many dare not discuss. I don’t know the answer but i feel i gotta say something bout it.

I remember a very tough example. Even I myself can’t bear thinking of it, but I’m not gonna avoid it.
There was a woman who was really on fire for God. On one missionary trip, something painfully awful happened. She was raped by men she was out to reach out to. What?? Where was God? Didn’t he promise to not leave her nor forsake her?

What next? She went through trauma and “hell”. During rehab she can’t help but ask God WHY??!!! To really cut the long story short, after years of suffering, she finally overcame and eventually became a Christian counselor to many rape victims out there. Many lives were transformed through her.

After saying all that, I can “hear” in my mind ridicules from people who would be totally disgusted at this issue. They can’t accept it. “Are we toys? Are we experiments meant for a testimony? Please…..”

I don’t have an answer to this or the many issues out there. Only God knows why He saved many women from rape and didn’t save this particular one. Was it for the good of many others? Then why didn’t he just use one who was already raped? Why allow one who was serving passionately to be the victim? I dunno.

The question is: if you were that woman, would you want to fight it all alone for the rest of your life OR cling on to God who can help you do so much more with your life? U can either stay bitter or rise up. Of coz u can do it without God. But how much can you do alone? Will it all matter when we will eventually die like any other creature?

I’ll try to summarize. Life on earth is a preparation for the eternity. Even I can’t fully understand what that really means. But one thing seems clear. Heaven has to be every Christian’s ambition. All we do is for that place we can’t imagine with our limited mind. Every verse below shows that at the end of it all, that woman found where her true treasures are. She knows she will have a new body. She knows that she is a soldier of Christ. She knows that a soldier faces danger in the battlefield and there is no guarantee of safety. Some soldiers will be shot, some will be bombed. Life isn’t fair. But, if heaven can’t be looked forward to, then all is meaningless. We might as well do whatever we want and die.

To deal with this issue, we must firstly get the bigger picture. Dealing with small pieces will lead to more confusion. I know there are many more bible verses but I’ll just use a few I googled for. ;p


-(A) Matthew 6:19-20 19
"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.

-(B) 1 Corinthians 2:9 9
However, as it is written: "What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived— these things God has prepared for those who love him"

-(C) Matthew 10:28-31 28
Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. 29 Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father's care. [c] 30 And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31 So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

-(D) Phillipians 3:20-21 20
But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, 21 who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.

-(E) 2 Timothy:3-4
Endure suffering along with me, as a good soldier of Christ Jesus. And as Christ’s soldier, do not let yourself become tied up in the affairs of this life, for then you cannot satisfy the one who has enlisted you in his army.

- (F) Matthew 16:24-26 24
Then Jesus said to his disciples, "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. 25 For whoever wants to save their life [f] will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. 26 What good will it be for you to gain the whole world, yet forfeit your soul? Or what can you give in exchange for your soul?

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Success

And I saw that all toil and all achievement spring from one person's envy of another. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind. –King Solomon

Can a person really be successful without God?

Yes, if u define success in worldly terms. But what does success mean?

U’re rich because u were at the right place at the right time.
U’re smarter coz u were born with it or u somehow developed it as u grew up.
Etc
I know people say that talent is not enough. I agree. But, what I’m trying to say is that if God doesn’t allow it, you wouldn’t be where you are.

At the end of all our achievements, what have we really gained?
We came into this world empty and will leave likewise. BUT, something more could be added to this saying. We leave this world also with our SINS, to face judgment from God.

What good will it be for you to gain the whole world, yet forfeit your soul? Or what can you give in exchange for your soul? – Jesus

Where I am today is by God’s arrangement. Some of my hardships were due to my own mistakes and bad choices I made. Some hardships are just not my fault but I trust that God will bring something good out of it.

For me success means having enough for my family and extra to bless others; to be able to love my family, others and of coz God. The love part is the tough one and will always be a challenge.

In fact, love is the most important.
It will be a total failure to live a life without love. (love for yourself, others and God) Most people can love themselves but fail to love others. Love God, lagi susah. Come to think of it, we can’t really love God all the time. We always fail. It is His love which draws us to love Him. Jesus said by obeying God, we show that we love Him. Clearly, this is NOT a feeling.

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Freedom

Is freedom really in our own two hands?

Yes. We will reap what we have sown. But what does freedom really mean?

Is it when all fear is gone? Is it when u know u can do it on ur own through will power? Honestly, I don’t really know. Is it death? There are just so many relative meanings. I think freedom has to be equated with a specific problem or area. I don't have time to address all i want to so I'll just discuss a few.

Take drugs, smoking and drinking. Many people are bound to it. But I’ve heard of many who are set free by God immediately, not by rehab. But there are also those who are have to go through the hard way. The question here is, do you want God’s help to be freed in any area? He didn't say that it will be immediate.

People always say Christians cannot do this and that. They find all sorts excuses like that when at the end of it all, they actually love their sinful life. They “believe” in Jesus but they don’t want someone to interrupt their life. They want to be “free”. Indeed, they are free coz being a Christian means we are God’s slave. But don’t forget they are slaves of the Devil, whether they know it or not.

Take freedom from sin as an example. Christians say it all the time but why do they keep on sinning? So, are they really free from sin? Then why do we always fail? I thought bout this and it was really mind boggling. What makes us different from the world?

Being a slave to sin means you can’t live without sinning. You somehow have to sin to go on living, whether u like it or not. It’s part of you.

BUT, freedom from sin means that you can no longer live in sin, meaning you can’t go on sinning coz you’ll know it is wrong and you’ll feel guilty, you’ll know God doesn’t like it, you’ll be stuck in your life, you’ll lose “that peace”,etc. You found reasons to not go on sinning- to please God, to be blessed by God, to save your own soul.

We’re free coz Jesus is our righteousness by faith. He took it all and he wants us to trust Him.

Well, I myself can say a few things as I’m still learning. In my own words, I no longer can go on sinning coz it feels uncomfortable. Something is always bothering me whenever I hold on to a sin. God is dealing with me step by step. When I ask God to help me deal with my weaknesses, He does. In the past, as I look back, I realize that it wasn’t my will power to stop sinning that helped me, it was God’s grace. Meaning, things happened to help me turn back form my sinful ways. I dunno how to explain it but I know that I made a choice as well, the choice to follow God. My freewill was still mine.

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Asthma??

Chinese Nurse: Apa nama?

Me: Adrian…

Chinese Nurse: Boleh pergi duduk dulu…

What???? Do I really look like a Malay??? Hahaha. It’s not the first time.

Anyway, back to the topic. I went to the government hospital for a checkup yesterday.

I can feel that my chest is tighter than usual and at times I can’t inhale deep breaths normally without putting extra effort. I Besides that, either side of my nose is congested. These problems have been quite evident since August.

I told the young pretty doctor about my problems. She decided to get my chest X-rayed. After she examined the X-ray, she told me that I inhaled more air than normal, which is a sign of Asthma. I was given an inhaler...lolz… let's just hope it stays as a sign...Of coz, I don't want it to stay la...

What??? Hmmm. It’s unimaginable coz I have been playing football almost everyday. I know that due to my breathing problems, I got tired faster. I was playing in the Merdeka Cup final and felt the tightness bothering me a bit but I fought on to play the whole game. Since then, I was a bit more disturbed by this problem, coz it hadn’t recovered as I thought it would.

I still play in matches and find that although I played the whole game, I feel dissatisfied due to the problem.

I really don’t believe that I have asthma. Coz I feel the itchiness inside my chest which is similar to the times when I had a bad cough. The weird thing is don’t cough much(or at all). The worrying thing is that it has been too long and the cause is unknown. Why do I say long? I have felt this tightness since one year ago but it didn’t stay as long as it did this time.

All a person can do is trust that God knows best. This is one of the problems I face which is uncertain and uncomfortable but I can only leave it to God and focus on other areas of my life, which I have been neglecting.

Anyway, I couldn't help but Google for info on asthma. It is tiring to browse through page after page but I just had to do it.

One unexpected portion of an article really surprised me:

"Are any asthmatics famous for sporting achievements?

Many Olympic medals have been won by people with asthma. Also, many children with asthma achieve provincial and national colours for their sports."

I feel like I’m in the first semester of university now. Why? Coz that time I was lost and uncertain, just as I am now (not as bad lah). But in time, I hope all will be better.

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