It's 12 midnite. Suddenly you realized that your plans for that day wasn't accomplished. Somehow you feel so energized to start doing them. But then, you know that if you go on burning midnight oil, you're gonna be sleepy the next day.
Have you gone through this? Oh yeah..especially when it comes to studying. After doing every other thing, you finally came to your senses and you wanna start studying but it's kinda too late. You go on with it but the next day, you'll be sleepy in class and then the cycle continues. You tell yourself that you wanna change but you keep repeating it.
This is just an example of a failed resolution. Every year we come up with new resolutions and after a few months, "kantoi"...lolz..
Many have decided not to make resolutions anymore.
Someone said that the more you wanna change, the harder the tests that come your way.
I don't know what your resolutions are but I think it is time to start over if you failed.
I can mention one of mine. There are issues at home i need to deal with. One of my resolutions is to love my mom and honour her. Year after year I know i've failed and improved. It's always a yoyo. It gets hard coz she is demanding. It's definitely my fault when I am not attentive and irresponsible. But there are also times when she comes out with illogical commands, judgments, etc. This is when it gets hard. After failing I couldn't do anything then to confess to God at night before I sleep and ask for help in this area. I guess He did help me all these years. If not, things would have been worse.
(I'm sorry but if you're not a Christian, you won't understand what on earth I have written below.)
Another issue involves us Christians. The same old failure is to read the bible and pray regularly. I dunno why this simple thing has always been a challenge to most of us.
No matter what, I'm still trying again after I fail to be consistent. So must you. It gets hard coz it seems Christians are the minority. And it gets discouraging at times coz the Christians around you aren't really doing their part ( me too ;( )..
What I have been doing and am trying to continue is to read the bible according the a bible plan and write down prayer requests in my journal.
I gotta admit at the moment I am being "cold". The desire to "reach the lost" is kinda not there. I remember the time when I really asked God for a soul to be saved through me, He answered. But all glory goes to Him and I shouldn't "be proud" of that achievement coz it was the Holy Spirit's work. I just prayed last night bout this issue.
Many know that song "Tell the world that Jesus lives...". The song is catchy. But seriously, are we really convinced????
;p
23/09/2009
To resolve or not to resolve?
22/09/2009
Rest
I couldn't function properly these few days coz i felt the effect of not resting enuf.
After the big game on friday, i went on to play 1 half of a friendly match the next day . On Sunday i also played a bit. On Monday, my team played against the Penang Chinese Team, which was a very very good team. I just didn't perform at all. We kena thrashed.
Then on today(tues), I was tired the whole day, taking naps from time to time.
There goes my Raya holidays.
There are issues I'm dealing with(or not). It's not easy and I just can't put them to words for now...
Have u ever felt like u just have no purpose to live on? to fight for? Ok ok..i'm NOT thinking of commiting suicide lah..choy..
I'm just tired...
18/09/2009
Another earthly achievement
I dedicate this post to the very few who may wanna know the final results of the football tournaments i have joined so far.
Why is this post called another earthly achievement?
Coz I ask myself, was it all worth it? Evening after evening I go to the football field, kena lectures from my mom, endured the lectures from older players who love to give "advice" and critisim, small injuries, lost of concentration due to "football dreaming"etc etc.
Firstly, I wanna thank God coz I have been patiently waiting to win something. I still have bigger dreams but a least I got something now. Like i mentioned in another post, I prayed for all sorts of stuff regarding football.
With a team of players with average age above 30, we never thought we'd get so far. We won the Penang Chinese Football League which consisted of 15 teams.
Then today, 18th Sept 09, we won the Merdeka Cup. Basically, the top 8 teams from the above league will compete to win the merdeka cup.
This was really a dream come true coz got to play in the Penang City Stadium.
And I scored 1 goal to help my team beat our opponents 2-1.
It was an anxious day for me. It felt like waiting for a major exam. Of coz, i know i did my best preparation so far.
At the end of it, I end up with these 2 cheap medals...lolz
;p
15/09/2009
u bila ade awek ni?
That was wat a friend asked as we chat tru WLM. lolz. Here's the conversation
Really?? maybe...ya lo..God knows la. I thank God coz it was He who gave me the chance to play in the coming football tournaments/leagues( and the past one in which my team won). I met the right people at the right time and one thing led to another. That's another story for another time.Have u tot of this, that all the people u seem to like are already taken?? Just a random thought.
12/09/2009
God our crutch?
Get ready coz I’m about to pour my heart out…lolz…hahaha ;p
“Aiya, people like you created god, u needed something to rely on, u made god as a crutch.”
Those were roughly the piercing words that that came from a senior of mine. He gave that response to a friend of mine who was a new Christian then. He was so passionate and kept sharing the gospel whenever he had the chance. But...SPLASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Some guy poured cold water on his enthusiasm.
U see, that senior of mine seemed to me like a “successful” guy. He was doing well in his studies, had a girlfriend, was an important guy in uni/college, intelligent, independent, etc etc. I assume that all he had in his life were purely hard work and i think he wouldn’t deny a bit of luck here and there.
Then there are these “stupid” chrisitians praying so hard for God to help them do well or pass. Praying for the right husband/wife, for financial help, for strength to go on, peace, love, joy, prosperity...basically they pray bout every little thing.
Is God really a crutch to us christians?
Do we “believe” in Jesus so that we don’t go to Hell? Coz we’re so afraid of that dark and fiery place?
U tell me.....Do u study just to avoid failure? Or u want to do well?
U’d wanna avoid failure of coz but surely u’d wanna do more that just pass. U’d wanna score.
Likewise, I believe in Jesus not just so that I can avoid Hell but I wanna live life abundantly on earth and then in heaven too.
Of coz, there is a price to pay. Just like studying is hard, so is following Jesus.
Some people seem to study do well. Most of us struggle through. Of coz all who study will face their own struggles. But we do get “jealous” at those people who seem to put less effort but score., rite????
Just like when we see other christians who seem to be doing so well; they feel God’s presence lah, they can feel God’s love lah...they say this, they say that lah...
But then, what if u really don’t have the desire to study? What if u don’t see a point. After all, there are many who do well in life without even finishing school. Nobody can force u rite? K K K..wait, let’s not go too far into the studying part. I’m just using studying as an analogy.
What if u really can’t feel can’t feel God’s love and can’t understand why believing in Jesus is such a big deal? Indeed God can’t force u to love Him.
Which brings us back to the crutch part.
Do we really need God???
I’m sure u anyone can do anything if they put their hearts and minds into it.
What does success really mean? What is life all about??
Did God say that everyone has to be rich?
Nope, He said work hard if want to eat. The book of Proverbs has many more pointers on how to do better financially. Of coz there are those which God freely appoints to be rich. So at the end, those people weren’t rich just becoz they worked hard, it was becoz God allowed it. None of us can be proud and say it is our own effort.
Talking bout hard work. I think there are many in this world who are much more humble and hardworking than many who are rich today. They were just at the wrong places at the wrong time.
Success indeed isn’t measured by money and material things.
Did God say He will make sure u will be healthy all your life if u just pray everyday?No no no. Aren’t we supposed to exercise regularly, eat healthily, etcetc? I’m sorry if u are genetically fat but u still gotta do your part.
These are just a few i can think of for now.
Back to the question again. Is God our crutch?
Well, I really dunno how to answer that. But let me try.
If I answer YES, then I say I do need him coz I’m not perfect. I have weaknesses that I can’t deal with. Just like a person with broken leg needs a crutch, I need God coz so many parts of my life are broken.
A person with a broken leg may or may not need the crutch in the future depending on whether his leg recovers fully or not.
I know I have to be patient while those broken parts recover. I also know that perhaps I may need my crutch for the rest of my life if certain parts won’t recover. I believe I need God no matter what. Not just to deal with brokeness lah. There are many other reasons.
Some may say this is just an excuse. Well, I dunno wat to say.
I can try to answer lah. I’d say, “Why waste so much effort fighting for certain things in life when u can just simply pray and ask God for help. God never guaranteed that He will answer all our prayers. He knows our motives and his plans. But at times we do get prayers answered and it feels great. What if we could focus on fewer things and leave everything to God? Why do we have to plan it all out? “
If I answer NO, then I’d I have to say that crutches are created by man but God cannot be created. He created u and me. He is my friend. He is alive. He wants to get involved in my life. He’s so unpredictable. He quite hard to follow at times. He has blessed me so much despite my current situation. I’ve “tested” and tasted God’s grace although life has been a rollercoaster.
If I’m not mistaken, that senior whom I mentioned, seemed to need god lah. He joined my other college mates during a prayer session to “god”, asking for blessing of their big event. They walked around with joss sticks and a fruits sacrifice or something. Hmmm…
I end with a few meaningful lines from the movie Evan Almighty.
God: I love that story, Noah and the Ark. You know, a lot of people miss the point of that story. They think it’s about God’s wrath and anger. They love it when God gets angry.
Joan: What is the story about, then? The ark?
God: Well, I think it’s a love story about believing in each other. You know, the animals showed up in pairs. They stood by each other, side by side, just like Noah and his family. Everybody entered the ark side by side.
Joan: But my husband says God told him to do it. What do you do with that?
God: Sounds like an opportunity. Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, do you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If they pray for courage, does God give them courage, or does he give them opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for their family to be closer, you think God zaps them with warm, fuzzy feelings? Or does he give them opportunities to love each other? Well, I got to run. A lot of people to serve. Enjoy.
XOXOXOXO
;p
10/09/2009
There must...
...be more than this...
03/09/2009
Illogical Parents?
That was her response after K poured his heart out bout his mom scolding him nicely in an illogical manner. T’s bro was caught skipping tuition class for cyber café. But the victim was T coz his mom blamed him for playing too much PC games and thus influencing his little bro. Wat liau…
Q then jumped in to relate his own experience. Recently he was asked to operate a certain machine at his father’s office. He didn’t know how. His dad replied,” What did learn all those years at college? U should know how to…blabla..(my paraphrase)”.
When u keep ur mouth shut, u’re rudely quiet. (my mom would say something like this in hokkien "got gold in ur mouth ar?")
When u reply, u’re answering back disrespectfully.
Haih….haha.
It makes me wonder how our parents(especially moms) can be so wise but at the same time so illogical at times.
“I carried u for 9 months.”
“All this while who was the one who cooked nice meals, washed ur clothes, stayed up when u were sick….”
Or this famous line from PCK’s mom, “For the last 30 years…I’ve been grinding ais kacang so that you can go to school, blab la bla…”
Haha.
I have more stories but I guess I should not add anymore grandmother stories.
At the end of it all, we are commanded to Honor Our Parents. It is indeed a lifetime commandment which will continue to challenge us.
As I read Proverbs 19 today, a few verses stood out which is related to this topic.
v3 A man's own folly ruins his life,
yet his heart rages against the LORD.
At times we ask God why our parents are like that. But I do realize we did lots of foolish things.
E.G. staying up late to play games or watch series which didn’t matter anymore if you look back.
it is to his glory to overlook an offense.
Clearly, there are times when we are really not wrong at all. But our parents just won’t listen. So, it is best to loverlook. Tough lah…
v16 He who obeys instructions guards his life,
but he who is contemptuous of his ways will die.
v20 Listen to advice and accept instruction,
and in the end you will be wise.
v27 Stop listening to instruction, my son,
and you will stray from the words of knowledge
The more I blog about this, the more I feel the tension of obeying God’s Word. It is so easy to read and write about these stuff, but when the real thing hits you, you forget and can’t control your actions and words. It has been a constant challenge. But I pray for help all the time. It is definitely tough when you have a mom who is a “high D and I” at home.
Thank God for our parents. I’m sorry for those who never had good parents. That doesn’t mean u have to be bitter. U’ll have prepare to be a good parent one day.
Of coz, when all fails, we know God is our heavenly Father. This Father is special and unpredictable at times. We can’t expect Him to respond as humans do. It’s not about feelings at times. When our earthly parents fail, we can go to Him. As if la we deserve it. Our righteousness are like filthy rags. Remember it is all by this weird thing called faith.
THIS SONG TOTALLY SUITS THIS TOPIC. U gotta watch it. Bananas don't worry. Got English Subtitles. ;) Full View
