My first song

This song is dedicated to all my classmates of CCM INSEP Batch 16 2009.

This is my first song, so please bear with me. I had no choice but to sing it myself. I honestly would have asked a better singer to sing it for me if I could find one.

Btw, it is kinda lame and it won't relate to most of you out there. It was mainly written to describe each of my classmates at PSDC and what we did.

Actually, it was for a class presentation. Each one of us had to come up with a goal and achieve in 2 weeks time. I didn't know what else to do so I tried to write a song. In the past I wrote lyrics using other people's songs as the background music. This time I wanted to compose something original...It was as tough as I thought it would be.

This song was written within a few days only. I was out of inspiration but I was constantly brainstorming and observing. I was thinking of words that rhyme and had to count with my fingers how many words per line, etc etc

In fact, most of it (the lyrics&melody) "came" only the day b4 and a few hours b4 I presented it to the class.

Here's the download link.

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Football Passion in Action

I just blogged bout passion in football in my previous post and just the next day, I got an unforgettable moment of passion.

As i mentioned, I am playing in a league called Merdeka Cup. I play for a team called PYFC 'B' as a right winger.

On Sunday, we played against a good team. If we won, we would have gone closer to securing first place. Anyway, we lost 2-1...sad..it was our first lost, somehow.

Here's the unforgettable part. Guess who scored the first goal? Yup, I scored my first goal for the team. How? I tried to score by tapping in a cross. The ball was saved by the keeper but then I followed up and scored the goal.

I could here the crowd roaring: GOAL!!! But guess what i was doing? Instead of celebrating, I was lying down for a while in front of the right goal post, rubbing my left hand.

WHY? Coz after I tapped in the goal, I knocked against the right goal post with my left hand getting most of the impact. OUCH!!! lolz...

I imagined this b4. "What if one day I score and don't celebrate coz I knocked the goal post?" Haha. It happened. It was my first goal this season for the team. I gave it all I had just for that goal. It was kinda funny when I thought of it again after the match coz it was a tension-filled match.

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Passion

Passion...??? haha.

Has anyone asked you wat's ur passion? Wat's ur interest? Ur desire?

The first thing that comes to my mind is football...

I gotta be honest, and God knows that I can't say that I have passion for the lost more than football. Oops!!!! He’ll deal with me whether I like it or not, if He needs to.

Yes, I do have passion (compassion) for people but I think it's different with football.

Smelling the fragrance of the field brings mixed feelings…..the nite b4 i play a match, i rarely sleep well..... I watch game after game....PC game oso football one...Gila rite?

At times I feel guilty for putting so much time and effort in a game which doesn't seem to be beneficial to myself and the "world".

If I play casually, then it's ok coz it's for stress relief and health sake.

But, as I look back the past 2 months back in Penang, I've been playing on an average of 5 times per week!!!

The reason I played so much was to train myself coz I have not been touching the ball as often as I wanted/needed to in UM. Super Berkarat la..And, as I played I wanted to gain friends who would help me enter the leagues here in Penang.

Football doesn't even bring me money...lolz. I do hope so but how much can u get in Malaysia?

Tournaments? So far no chance...

In reality, I’m not that good.

I thank God I can play well but clearly it is not even good enough even to join a local semi-pro team (YET..).

My mind is always analyzing my past mistakes in football, how to improve and any other thing about the game. I train so hard at times till my muscles are often sore. For wat???

The crazy thing is that football has always been among my prayer requests.

As i looked back, I prayed for things like:(or just thought bout it)

-healing from injury, fast recovery, protection

-i wanna play for a good team and wear one of those jerseys I see ppl wearing as I pass by Padang Polo

-i wanna play in this and that field

-i wanna train with a good coach

-i wanna play with competitive ppl

-i wanna play in competitive leagues

-i wanna represent a team to play outside Penang from time to time

-i want a job which allows me to play football in the evening

-which team should i join?

U know wat????? I got most answered and some are still on the way.

I've gotten injured so many times. I prayed like mad especially if i need to recover in time for a match. There are also those long term injuries(my lower back, ankles) which I consistently prayed for healing while I continued to play(stubborn and bored wat...)

For now, every part of my body is more fit and well (compared to last 2 months) except for sinus and left ankle(which is ok but is not perfect).

THANK GOD!

I got to play in a few fields(which i longed to play on), representing a team in a locally organised league(penang only la) called the Merdeka Cup. I get to wear a jersey with a number on it and play competitively. I play compettive football at a field as training twice a week. And just this past week, I joined a team training under an experienced coach and seriously really learned more bout this beautiful game.

The aim now is to fight fo a place in the team who will go to KL next month for a tournament. Haiyo..I never really tot this was possible at my age....So, I can only train hard and hope to get a first team position. God willing, I'll be fit and ready heading to KL for 2 or 3 days.

THANK GOD!

Bout a job which allows me to play football.... This one a bit hard la. I thank God, in these past 2 months, I got to play so much until I got bored at times..lol.

U know wat?I actually rejected a job i was gonna get coz the job schedule didn't fit my footballing schedule...lolz...I thank God I did coz that job pays lower compared to the one I will get(if I get it) and doesn’t seem to offer a good prospect. If I had taken that job, I wouldn’t have joined INSEP(which I really feel it is worth it).

I will start my attachment in Dell on Aug 22, which means I may not get to play so much dee la due to shift work from time to time.

Hmmm..kinda sad and uncertain but I still hope that as God always does, He'll arrange my time ahead in the best way, He'll give me the right amount of competitive football I crave for. That is wat i hope for la. If not, life has to move on.

There's a season for everything. Now, it seems to be football season for me(watching the matches is another thing).

Well, this is all I have. People out there may envy what I have but if u look closely, there's nothing to be proud about.

I'm just grateful that I'm alive and kicking. Yes, and I get to kick the football.

If u have passion for something, then go for it la. As I said, mine doesn't seem to be beneficial but I pray that as i meet ppl from playing the game, i will touch their lives. It's not so simple but I believe God's love will flow from my life.

Again, I can't boast. It was and can never be my effort alone to touch lives. It may sound impossible and "funny" even for me but the Holy Spirit is with me. Argh!! saying these kind of stuff feels weird at times. I don't wanna be a hypocrite.

I sincerely do not want to waste my life.

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Hate ur job???

If u hate ur job then u may change ur mind after u see the pics below...LOLz...

Anyway..here are some of my thoughts...
Haiyo...when I saw that Science and Maths will be taught in BM, i just sighed.....but then when I saw that many teachers were mourning over it...I realised it was much worse than I thought.

Dear teachers, I am very sorry if some of you out there are so !@#$$%^&*!!!! angry, disappointed, no mood, lost ur passion, etc.

If I'm not mistaken, teachers nowadays are more well payed than the teachers last time...perhaps they were more well respected and appreciated... Maybe it's harder to respect teachers coz of situations like Band 3 ppl oso get to enter TESL or in my school last time, the teacher who taught us Physics was an Art major who fully relied on the Pelangi book...

But at least try to do ur best la...U do for God to see rite? Not easy I know..biasala tu...we all forget and fail all the time... If you don't wanna have anything to do with God, then I hope you don't regret one day...I dun mean to sound so harsh la k...(Dear "friend", i know u terasa....all i wanna say is I support that u either choose to be cold or hot, coz being lukewarm is useless...never say never though)

U may feel trapped everyday..u feel u can't reach ur true potential..
Haiyo..i tell u la..as if la most ppl out here in the working world get to reach their true potential...Yala..sure got a few out there who seem to be making it...But we are all different and have different roles in life...

So many actually just drag through their jobs la...I hope I won't have to when I do start working but i guess it's a process we all have to go tru...

I myself am at a blur stage of my life...one step at a time la ya... I never really liked what I studied k...imagine 4 years there in UM...prayed that it would change..MANY MANY TIMES..
But nope...things didn't really change...I dragged through and passed .. I did my best whenever I could but certain priorities took over lots of my time...

Imagine la, without a gf I oso no time dee...lolz

God knows why he sent me there to do all I did there...I'm sure I learned alot...but I dunno if I can apply them in my working life..not all but I'm sure there are hidden stuff which will come out at the right time...

I MISS UM LA...I MISS 3RD col...I MISS PKV....sobs............

Anyway,her are some funnny pics.

Just imagine if u get these jobs...

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What on earth have u been studying all these years???

I'm sure most of u who read my blog are still students somewhere or looking for a job.

Times were getting very frustrating coz I still didn't know what job I wanted to "try out" or venture into as a career.
I had to ask myself what on earth have I been studying these 4 years at UM...and in school...

U may have gone tru this or will go tru it someday if u're the type who doesn't know what u want in the future.

If I loved to teach, then my degree in Computational and Industrial Mathermatics would have been beneficial to myself and the people I'm gonna teach. But no, I do not like teaching and I don't really want to go further in Maths.

15 of us in my class are unemployed (duh..). Who knows how many more are out there planting anggur too? Most of us are from local universities and colleges. Got la 2 i think who took their courses overseas.

So the question is WHY?????????WHY??????????WHY???????

For me, I didn't know what I liked to do when I first applied for the 8 choices. BOdohla..Pakai hentam only...Then I somehow chose Maths coz it was the best I could do among the science subjects under the Bachelor of Science course in UM.

Do u think you will apply wat u studied in uni/college??

If the lecturers worked before in the world outside the education institutions, then perhaps they'll know how to make the courses more relevant to the working world.
But NO!!! I can say most of what we learned were just for the sake of knowledge.(Sorryla, this is my narrow point of view as a science student)

Is my English poor? i can say I have an average command la (thank GOd).

Is my CGPA too low??? Perhaps...but even those with higher CGPA than mine are still unemployed. In fact, I can speak and present in better English than many of them. (this is not meant to show off k... it's just frustrating at times) Argh!!!! Okla..English is not enough la..U need the brains too..maybe i was too lazy...maybe...

Soft skills??? Did my activities help?? Perhaps...

Can I blame the education system??? Who can blame them??? Somehow we usually can't win in these debates. Like the English or BM issue in Science and Maths. Did the chicken come first or the egg??? Macam-macam la

The problem was that I don't have an aim. I didn't know what I wanted to do as a career. I went from to interview after interview only to realise that I didn't know what I wanted to do. So i admitted to the interviewers that I don't know.

It's my problem la for not having any ambition other than wanting to play the best football I can if God permits.

Anyway, I thank God that He led me to take the INSEP. Here's briefly how I ended up taking it.

I somehow saw an ad in the jobstreet newsletter regarding INSEP. I took a look and found it attractive when I saw the company DELL under the Customer Care Management category. It looked nice but getting a permanent job would be better la. So I applied and left it aside.

After thinking tru and praying, I "finally" figured out that I liked doin technical stuff. I wanted to join Dell so I applied for a technical support position, knowing I didn't have enough computer technical knowledge. I went for the interview hoping to get it but....down....tak dapat la...

Anyway, the interviewer mentioned that I lacked the technical knowledge and recommended me to join the graduates' training program. I asked her to let me know more bout it....She said she'll find out for me...

Haih...disappointed, i went home and didn't know what to do. I had to inform PSDC(the centre handling INSEP) by that day whether i would take the course or not. I told God, "please la...u gotta help me settle this la..I need to make a decision by 2.30pm." That time it was bout 1 pm plus. I sat aimlessly in front of my PC...

Then.....a call came from PSDC to inform me that Dell called to ask me to be put into INSEP(under customer care management).
Meaning, the graduates' training program that my interviewer mentioned was actually INSEP.
I asked the person from PSDC to ask the person in charge from Dell to call me personally to confirm that I will be taken as a trainee in Dell at the Technical Support Department. Yup...I received that call too. ;)

All was settled before 2.30pm...

So, that's how I ended up taking INSEP.

The end...I actually wanted to write bout something else but somehow it ended up with the grandfather story above...

think bout it, do you know your value in the market today????

If you don't like sales, then i suggest u should star seeking for advice and make urself more marketable.(huh? what's dat???)I hope I can help u if u have any questions but I know I'm quite blur too....I hope I'll learn more from the classes i'm attending now...

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Wat i confessed to God

There r many things we confess to God from time to time..

I saja just want to mention a few things... Not very serious now but they do come up sometimes...

Here goes..

I'm irritated at time when I see people who are rich...

I'm irritated when I'm compared with those who get good results...Come on la..u wanna be doctor or engineer then good lo..I'll pay u next time when I need ur service....

I'm irritated by those who get to study overseas, go for holidays...

I "bay syiok" those who got their own car, better handphones, lots of pocket money....

I'm irritated by my mom's naggings...of coz i'm to blame at times

And..irritated by show offs....pls don't show off ur girlfren or boyfren la...haiyo...hahaha

OK OK...don't look at me as if I'm irritated when i spend time or see "you" if u fit the above categories...

I'm sure we all got some hidden feelings that we don't tell but PLEASE don't think that I hate u or look down on you or anything bad feelings...

I tell u la...many people just wear masks only...we're humans after all

I prayed and left all those feelings to God... (by the way, does any of you need God? He's waiting...hmmm doesn't make sense rite? hope u'll find out one day...)

I indeed have so much to be thankful for...
;)

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Now till Nov 2009

After going through the ups and downs of "planting anggur" and interviews, I have finally decided to join the Industrial Skills Enhancement Program (INSEP). This program was offered by PSDC (Penang Skills Development Centre). INSEP is fully funded by the Ministry of Finance Malaysia.

I will go through 2 months of industrial training (in classrooms at PSDC :( ) and then will go to DELL Penang for industrial attachment as a trainee for 3 months. I do hope I will get a permanent position after that.

The 2 main reasons which led me to join this program are:
1) I get RM1000 per month.
2) I really wanted to join the technical support department at DELL. So, I hope I will get a full time position after the industrial attachment period.

Class starts this monday,22 June 09. Watliau , Mon - Fri , 9am - 5pm wei.....

Looks like I get to taste student life for another 2 months....but it's 9-5 wei...

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